self help

[ljgeoff]

I'm not much for self-help books and I'm usually dismissive of books that include the word "cure", but I decided to purchase The Busy Brain Cure: The Eight-Week Plan to Find Focus, Tame Anxiety, and Sleep Again, by Romie Mushtaq, MD

And I decided that instead of skipping around like I usually do when I read this kind of stuff, that I'd dutifully read each chapter in order and read the self-discovery questions. After Chapter One, this question made me go HMMM:

"Can you think of a time when you succeeded at something important in your life without having to be under a long period of stress?"

Hmmmm. It took me a couple minutes and finally I came up with ... gardening. Then I thought of making my mead flavors, and going somewhere new but with no agenda, just discovery. And finally, sitting with a patient who is not in distress but needs care or comfort.

These are all things that I feel are important in my life and give me a feeling of accomplishment but do not come at the cost of a long period of stress.

How about you? Can you think of a time when you succeeded at something important in your life without having to be under a long period of stress?

Comments

[carbonel]

This is going to sound awfully minor compared to everything going on in your life, but, since things have been kind of coming together, I thought it might be worth mentioning.

At the start of the pandemic, one of my Ravelry groups that had focused on swapping stuff canceled all the swaps for several reasons. To keep the group going for a while, the moderators encouraged people to do online tutorials. I did one on making rolags (kind of like fiber cigars -- fun things to spin) both on a drum carder and a blending board (a flat surface with tines where you can arrange fiber).

Someone from my guild saw that and suggested that I teach a Zoom class on the same subject. I'd never taught before, and I didn't feel comfortable starting with remote teaching. (So there was some stress there, but much less than there would be if I'd said yes.)

Instead, I said that I'd be happy to teach such a class when the guild went back to in-person classes. I figured out a way to teach using preselected fiber, and got a friend to do the class at my house as a practice session. Then I told the guild to put me on the schedule. I was a bit nervous with the first class, but it went well. Since then, I've taught several more classes at the guild. The latest one was yesterday, and it went really really well -- and the class had a waiting list, so I'm now on the schedule to teach it again in April. And also, I'll be teaching it at a small conference in October.

And it's not just this particular skill that I've learned to teach; I've become much more comfortable with teaching in general. And now I'm considering working up a plan for a related but different class. And I don't feel stressed about it at all.

[ljgeoff]

I don't think this is minor! I think teaching and mentoring is one of the most important things a person can do. Thank you for passing on your skills!

[pameladean]

Finishing my first novel required NOT being under a long period of stress. So yeah.

Really, getting most things done for me requires not being under a long period of stress. Life being what it is, sometimes I cannot get that, and some things get done, but they would be done sooner and better without the stress. It is not some kind of wonderful crucible for me, it's just a stupid useless set of chains.

P.

[ljgeoff]

This is really interesting to me. From my own thoughts and other responses it seems that creativity is at the crux of not-stress. I'm sure that, people being people, there are some who can only create while under pressure. But for me, especially when I'm writing, I must be in an alpha-wave state.

Edit: I didn't put writing in my original post list because I'm very self-critical of my writing. I love the process but then feel, oh, no one will enjoy this.