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Good things!
Jan. 2nd, 2015 04:30 amA friend on FB wrote this, and I love it:
"In the last few days leading up to today, I've seen a lot of people saying to 2014: "Get out, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." And I can understand why: Ferguson. Robin Williams. Gamergate. The death of a transgender teenager just this past week, due to her parents' abuse. Yeah, a lot of shitty stuff happened in 2014. Bad things tend to stick in our heads. That's not really surprising: in an evolutionary sense, being aware of the negative usually helps us avoid it and live another day. So it's natural for us to say "Eff you, 2014," and move on forward hoping that the next year won't have the shitty stuff in it.
But then I think about how I saw the same wishes given to 2013. And to 2012. And to pretty much every year that's passed that I can remember. At the end of the year, the sense for the past year seems to be "Eff you, you sucked."
Maybe I'm thinking about this because this week is also the first anniversary of a year-long experiment I've been conducting with myself. In December of 2013, I read some research on increasing a positive outlook. Of course I was skeptical - I've always had an allergy to the whole "positive-thinking" crowd because they seem to be saying "Ignore the negative! Be happy!" But this research suggested naming three things you're grateful for or thankful for, every day. It showed that people became, on average, 10% happier after doing this for six weeks. So I decided to try it (more out of a sense of cynicism than thinking it would work).
And it worked. You've all seen me posting my gratitudes. Even though I've had some really nasty depressive bouts this year, naming what I'm grateful for took the edge off of them. It allowed me to relax the consistent guard I'd had up against anything that might be threatening and allow myself to look at the good as well as the bad. It didn't make me any less aware of the bad, but it did make me aware of the good.
And good things have happened as a result.
So I'd like to suggest a new way of looking at the past year. Instead of saying "die and be dead, you rotten year," name twelve things that happened in 2014 that were good - whether to you specifically, or in the world generally. Think of it as the Year-End Gratitudes. So it's not all bad. 2014 was a pretty good year to me, all things considered. Sure, I didn't get the full-time job I applied for, but I got to teach amazing students anyway. Sure, I had some issues with groups I'm not part of any more, but I've retained the friends that mattered from those groups. I'm not denying that some things were really rough, hard, and negative. I AM, however, denying that that's all that happened this year.
So I challenge you to name twelve things that went right for you and for the world this year.
Thanks, 2014. You've left some big shoes for 2015 to fill."
My 12 Gratitudes:
-- My relationship with Mike is better than it's been in years.
-- My financial situation is better than it's been in decades.
-- I'm going back to school.
-- My children are all doing solidly well and seem truly happy.
-- My grandchildren are all happy and healthy.
-- We had two great vacation family visits, one in August and one in October.
-- I'm writing a book, and I like it.
-- My health is amazingly good.
-- I have emotionally fulfilling work with okay pay.
-- We are doing repairs on our home, making it more comfortable and energy efficient.
-- I have a new greenhouse and I have three garden beds dug and ready for spring.
-- I feel good about 2015, in a roll up my sleeves and get things done kind of way!
"In the last few days leading up to today, I've seen a lot of people saying to 2014: "Get out, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." And I can understand why: Ferguson. Robin Williams. Gamergate. The death of a transgender teenager just this past week, due to her parents' abuse. Yeah, a lot of shitty stuff happened in 2014. Bad things tend to stick in our heads. That's not really surprising: in an evolutionary sense, being aware of the negative usually helps us avoid it and live another day. So it's natural for us to say "Eff you, 2014," and move on forward hoping that the next year won't have the shitty stuff in it.
But then I think about how I saw the same wishes given to 2013. And to 2012. And to pretty much every year that's passed that I can remember. At the end of the year, the sense for the past year seems to be "Eff you, you sucked."
Maybe I'm thinking about this because this week is also the first anniversary of a year-long experiment I've been conducting with myself. In December of 2013, I read some research on increasing a positive outlook. Of course I was skeptical - I've always had an allergy to the whole "positive-thinking" crowd because they seem to be saying "Ignore the negative! Be happy!" But this research suggested naming three things you're grateful for or thankful for, every day. It showed that people became, on average, 10% happier after doing this for six weeks. So I decided to try it (more out of a sense of cynicism than thinking it would work).
And it worked. You've all seen me posting my gratitudes. Even though I've had some really nasty depressive bouts this year, naming what I'm grateful for took the edge off of them. It allowed me to relax the consistent guard I'd had up against anything that might be threatening and allow myself to look at the good as well as the bad. It didn't make me any less aware of the bad, but it did make me aware of the good.
And good things have happened as a result.
So I'd like to suggest a new way of looking at the past year. Instead of saying "die and be dead, you rotten year," name twelve things that happened in 2014 that were good - whether to you specifically, or in the world generally. Think of it as the Year-End Gratitudes. So it's not all bad. 2014 was a pretty good year to me, all things considered. Sure, I didn't get the full-time job I applied for, but I got to teach amazing students anyway. Sure, I had some issues with groups I'm not part of any more, but I've retained the friends that mattered from those groups. I'm not denying that some things were really rough, hard, and negative. I AM, however, denying that that's all that happened this year.
So I challenge you to name twelve things that went right for you and for the world this year.
Thanks, 2014. You've left some big shoes for 2015 to fill."
My 12 Gratitudes:
-- My relationship with Mike is better than it's been in years.
-- My financial situation is better than it's been in decades.
-- I'm going back to school.
-- My children are all doing solidly well and seem truly happy.
-- My grandchildren are all happy and healthy.
-- We had two great vacation family visits, one in August and one in October.
-- I'm writing a book, and I like it.
-- My health is amazingly good.
-- I have emotionally fulfilling work with okay pay.
-- We are doing repairs on our home, making it more comfortable and energy efficient.
-- I have a new greenhouse and I have three garden beds dug and ready for spring.
-- I feel good about 2015, in a roll up my sleeves and get things done kind of way!