inveniam viam

I start the new gig tomorrow. Finally! I left Lansing yesterday, rather late, around 5pm, and drove until about 9pm. I stopped just out of Columbus, Ohio- about 275 miles/ 440 k traveled. Maps says I have about 415 miles/ 668 k to go today. I'm comfortable, I slept well, and I feel good. Onward!

It's been a busier than usual week with going to Lansing, getting some dental work done as well as some heavy-duty chores and not enough sleep because everyone else sleeps at night. I drove back to Negaunee from Lansing on Friday night -- the roads weren't too bad here in Michigan, but bad enough that I had to be hyper-vigilant and I got home so wired and exhausted that I didn't sleep well, and had nightmares about burying my children. Work that night was the kind of low-sleep, don't-kill-anyone torture that nursing too often is -- But! last night I got great sleep and I feel *much* better tonight.

Lisa, back up and take a look at that -- I've always thought that having nightmares about people dying, especially children dying, means that the person is ambivalent about those people. The main emotion in the dream, other than horror and grief, was guilt. I hadn't protected them; I hadn't saved them. And the weight of the responsibility of saving everyone is, um, sometimes it's awful heavy.

I need to, not get rid of because then who would I be, but at least *tone down* my superman complex. I am not a paladin; I always play a half-orc fighter, actually. Truth. Carl plays a paladin, Mike is a druid, and Sam and Luke are wizards. An interesting way to parse family dynamics.

Aaaand, speaking of saving people, I am still trying to gather a group of people to help me bring a family from Ukraine to Marquette, Michigan. (goes to previous post) I have 4 people! That's damn cool, but I need another 25-35 folks so that the financial burden isn't too much. If you have $25/wk in your budget, I'd love for you to join us!

Please pimp this! I'll leave this entry unlocked.

Here is a message from Ukraine. Let's do this. If we get enough people it won't even be very difficult.

Hello. My name is Olena. Both me and my family (mother - Ninel, my husband Sergii, my son Vlad and my son Serhii and me) are from the city of Mariupol, Ukraine. We have lived all our lives in Mariupol, and we also found Russia's invasion of Ukraine in Mariupol. Only the war did not start on February 24, 2022, as all the media say, but earlier, exactly on February 23, 2022, in the evening, the outskirts of our city, Russian invaders, began to pour lead rain and fire from MLRS "Grads" and it was very well audible on Pashkovsky Street, the ground shook and the glass in the windows shook... no one had windows left by the February 25 ..... it was still winter and frost - 11 C . ...... and fragments from aerial bombs and Grads scattered throughout the district, killing everything on their own way, and crashing into the walls of houses.

Therefore, we (like many other people) were forced to hide in the basements of houses .... sleep on the floor in the basement and watch cement dust and plaster pour over our heads, and prayed to God for one thing - to survive , so that the ceilings would not collapse and not filled up the basement. And then... A Russian tank started shooting at our house with direct fire, and in the end, the tank burned down our house... But we managed to escape to another area of the city, where the shelling was less, to my grandmother's old apartment..... We ran away, taking documents, a laptop and dogs (Yorkshire terriers) ...

It was impossible to leave Mariupol itself, cars with the inscription "people", "children", Russian occupiers shot at point-blank range in the first place, these were just living targets. The city was under constant shelling, even hospitals became targets. But we always had faith in God and the unity of our family, which helped us to survive. How could we helped people - bandaged the wounded, pulled them out from under the rubble, shared everything that we had. Mariupol literally from the first days was left without water, electricity, gas, pharmacies, grocery stores, police did not work, there was no mobile communication and the Internet at all .... My husband and I went to the well, drew water into large cans and shared this water with Neighbors, because in the neighborhood lived mostly only old people.

Near the house, my husband built a brazier out of old bricks and we learned how to make a fire even in pouring rain, cook food on a fire ..... and so it dragged on day after day, recalling, in a bad interpretation, "Groundhog Day" ..... ... And we finally manage to escape with the whole family from Mariupol, which the Russians had turned into a concentration camp.

We ourselves could not fully believe that the worst was over. Our hearts were full of hope for a better future and faith in the Lord. Having left Mariupol and leaving the territory of war and constant fear, I learned about the Uniting for Ukraine program! We entered Georgia (I mean Georgia as a country near Russia), then went through Turkey, Greece, Bulgaria, Romania, Hungary, Slovakia and arrived in Poland. We went on such a long journey to be in the territory of the Schengen zone of the European Union, as recorded in the Uniting for Ukraine program.

For many years, our whole family dreamed of coming to the United States of America, even for a short time, and the Uniting for Ukraine program makes it possible to get legal shelter from the war in Ukraine, during which we can and want to work, bring benefit to society and pay taxes. This program requires a Sponsor - a US citizen who can fill out a Declaration of Financial Support for our family and officially, in full accordance with the law, invite our family. But we don’t have such a sponsor, in USA yet... Therefore, we, all together: I am Olena, my husband Sergii, my son Serhii my son Vlad and mother Ninel , please and please help us . And after so many trials, make our dream come true!

I know, I said that I'd trim that cape; what can I say? I'm doomed to perceive personal value through service. *shrug*

So, I've worked 115 hours since July 28. I won't be doing that again any time soon. And I don't think I've ever mentioned it but I have an interesting canary in the coal mine in my head: after my neurological incident in '09, whenever I do too much, get too tired, don't get enough sleep -- my ears buzz louder than they usually do. Either that or I don't have the spoons to ignore it like I usually do.

So, yeah, loud ear buzzing today.

I have the next four days off. Today I get the kids up and showered and off to summer school (done), take Christopher into the clinic for some pre-breakfast blood work for his doctor to review before his physical next week (waiting for him to wake up), go to my pre-surgery appointment at 2pm, and then drive Luke up to Gaylord, about a three hours north, where his friend Dusty with pick him up and take him to Negaunee.

Tomorrow I only have a home visit with Chris' social worker here, right before lunch, and dinner with Ed, my friend/resident at the nursing home.

Wednesday and Thursday I have nothing planned! Well, there's a kid's concert on Wednesday at the library that I'll take Chris to, and I *really* need to get out to the garden and weed.

I have four more work weeks until my surgery on August 6.

I'm very pleased to announce that I got a 90% on my last algebra test, which means I'm getting an 4.0 in the level of math that I took in my junior year of high school. Yay me! Really, I'm both extremely pleased and eye-rolly at the same time. But the really pleased part is definitely winning. And the 4.0 will be very good for my nursing school entrance points. It looks like I'll get a 4.0 in anatomy too, but only a 3.5 in physiology. Still, exceeded my expectations for the semester and my hopes are high for getting in this autumn.

Last day of classes is Monday, May 11.

Last week I told my client's mom that I was only going to work four days a week this summer, and that July 31 would be my last day. We have a fair relationship; she does crap that irritates me like whoa, and I'm odd to her. But we both try to get along. So she won't exactly miss me, but she knows that my leaving will be hard on her son, who's become very fond of me (and visa versa.) And I know that she'll miss my steadiness and work ethic. I'll try very hard not to dance out the door.

Last week, the city came and "cleaned up" my guerrilla garden so now it's not so guerrilla. They took about $50 worth of fencing, landscaping cloth, and lumber as well as all of my bags of leaves that were going into the vertical garden towers, and they cut down the PVC tower that I had up but not yet put together with the fencing. But today I licensed the garden with the Ingham County Land Bank Garden Project and I'm kinda kicking myself for not doing it sooner because it will be a wonderful resource of not only information (like, there's a guy who's gonna show me how to start up bees) but also they'll give out all kinds of free stuff, like *3 yards* of free compost, very cheap organic seedlings ($3 a flat) -- Also, he said that there were folks he knew who where experimenting with aquaponics, so there's another resource. And! Garden Dude said that when I'm ready and if the neighbors are cool with it, he'll help me with setting up for chickens. It was so fun to talk to someone about my garden, to watch the small smile of appreciation when I described my rain-catch and swale system. And the garden shed is ok to put up. So -- vertical garden towers, bees, chickens, 4 20' long double dug beds, greenhouse and aquaponics pond, and the stackwood garden shed. It's all gonna come together this summer.

Everyone should come on over sometime in late August. We'll barbecue and I'll hand out zucchini.

Into the final slog, week 12 of 18:

intermediate algebra: 86.7%
human physiology: 87.4%
anatomy: 84% (but I have a test this week, so we'll see)

There's a chance I can get a 4.0 in physiology, and a slimmer chance I can 4.0 in algebra. The memorization for the anatomy class is very tough for me.

I really need to cut back at work, but ... bleh. It's complicated. Also, damn, I'm sooo tired.

Wow, I've had a great week. I mean, A Great Week. I got a new job, and then I got another *ever better* new job. Also, once I am trained with this company, I can work just about anywhere, if I have the need.

I began working as a Volunteer Fellow at the Obama for America campaign, here in Lansing.

Working on the campaign, I met a very interesting woman who happens to be a lawyer (solicitor) and will help us with Jerome's adoption papers, and let us pay her monthly, which we will actually be able to afford.

I've been walking around my trailer court and registering people to vote. They are so happy to see me! It is very cool. Yesterday I spent most of the morning at a local Democratic convention meeting where I submitted a party resolution about addressing climate change. For real! I wrote it on a piece of notebook paper and handed to the resolutions dude. He said he'd type it up and put it up for a vote at the next meeting. Then I went to a UAW picnic and manned the Obama table and signed up more volunteers.

We haven't heard anything about the little boys; I will call the Marquette DHS office tomorrow.

Also, today I am cleaning up a bit around here, doing laundry, taking a walk to the garden to see if it has survived since I planted it -- I don't have any fencing and the wildlife might have eaten it -- as well as go about with the voter registration clip board. Pork chops with mushroom gravy are in the crock pot, and we'll have that with potatoes and a salad for supper.

Edit: this is what functional mania looks like.

I just got a today at the CVS/Walgreens in East Lansing as a shift supervisor, for full time, $10/hr (which is $20,800/yr or about £13,260/yr)

Nothing much more to say except *whew*.

Classes
9 am -- Social Psychology; The professor is demanding that we all buy the latest edition of the text, so I asked the class if there was someone who wanted to "rent" their books to me, and I have a new study-mate, David. I have a feeling that this is going to develop into a comfortable friendship.

10 am -- Intro to Research Methods; Looks like I'm gonna be a research assistant. How could I pass it up? Too cool. My professor is a small, laid back fellow from Japan, Dr. Takahiro Yamaguchi.

3 pm -- Individual Differences and the Development of Personality; This is going to be a rather intense, fascinating course.

Work

I work from 5p - midnight at the center, tonight. Yesterday, one of the counselors told me that it didn't feel like I was a new hire, "It's more like you've been away, and you came back." The feeling is very mutual. I love this job.

At the other job, my elderly client was presenting symptoms of norovirus when I left on Sunday. I haven't heard anything, so I'd guess that he's doing as well as expected. I go in there tomorrow 3p-10p, so I'll find out then. My whole house was sick with it last week, but two of the other aides had been sick with it, too. And I called and told my supervisor that my family was sick, and she told me to come on in. But there's a good chance that I'm the one who carried the virus to him. Poor fella.

Home

Since Carl moved into his girlfriend's home last summer, my relationship with Sam has been blossoming. He is really pumped for Comicon. We were talking costuming last night, and he decided on reprising Old Greg. I shall be putting up a wish list for accrutments.

He's really serious about making gaming a carreer. There's a geek-heaven college down in Florida that looks like heaven, Full Sail. He still wants to get his private pilot's license, too.

I haven't decided if this is the best way to go. If the world was going to keep chugging along as it is, I'd say, yeah, go for it. But I don't think we have much "chug" left. Still, having someone who can program might not be a bad idea. And he'll have back-up skills.

Writing

The first draft of the collaboration is almost done! I think it'll finish up somewhere between novellette and novella in length. I have absolutely no idea if it's any good. We're gonna give it another spit and polish, and then throw it at the writing group and see what they think. Which reminds me, I'm behind on my crits.