posted to alt.poly

[ljgeoff]

We all just got back from APC 15 in Minneapolis. I had thought that this weekend would probably be the last time that Len and I would be physically intimate, and I was right.

We have come to this place now where Len has chosen to be monogamous with his new partner. Before APC 15, it was all kinda up in the air, but now the die has settled. I'm trying to think of any monogamous women I know who are ok with their new boyfriends maintaining a close friendship with an ex, and I'm not coming up with any. But that seems to be this case, and I choose to be optimistically hopeful. So, Len and I have decided to try to maintain a close friendship.

And this might sound stupid, but I'm actually surprised by how hard this is for me. I was the one who was complaining, what? A month ago? I wish Mike were home. I feel like I should just be able to handle this.

Comments

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[limnrix.livejournal.com]

That's annoying.

Heck, lately everyone I know has been going "Poly doesn't work!" at me every time I mention my counterpart has another lover.

Ouch.

[the-ogre.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathy, and long-distance virtual hugs.
Also, while I know that it's not much help, I do know of similar situations where the friendship was able to be maintained. Much luck to all of you.

[ljgeoff.livejournal.com]

and if I pointed at every monogamous relationship that went blooey and said, "see, monogamy doesn't work!"? Relationships end all the time, sometimes for good reasons, even.

I know that you're facing an ending, too. My heartfelt sympathies.

Re: Ouch.

[ljgeoff.livejournal.com]

I've never ended a relationship with both parties still in love with each other. This will be interesting.

[firecat]

Aw, I'm sorry. And it's always been hard for me too (it's happened a few times).

[limnrix.livejournal.com]

No, I'm not. Note date.

You know, I think I'll start using that one. Or argue that it works if one has better taste than I do.

Re: Ouch.

[ljgeoff.livejournal.com]

Hey, drop me some email. We've got "chair" complications.

[ailbhe]

I'm still good friends with a few exes, and Rob's still good friends with people he used to fancy madly, but he only has one ex, and she doesn't talk to him, so...

It's hard. But I can say from experience that ending a relationship when you're both in love is quite pleasant in many ways, afterwards.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Herm. You should be able to handle this? But you are. It hurts, but, hell, it's a painful situation.

I hope things work out as best as they can; you have my sympathies and virtual hugs are yours if you want them.