(no subject)

[ljgeoff]

I've been feeling a bit lonely this week. There are Len-sized holes in my life that are bigger than I expected they would be. He did call twice this week while I was in class and left messages on my phone, but there wasn't an answer at his place when he called back.

I stopped by Fran's this afternoon to drop off some cornbread that I'd made, and Ruby and Lucas where there, and Tammy, too. Ruby and Lucas smiled hello -- I thought that Lucas' smile was sad. Tammy didn't have much expression at all. I don't think that she dislikes me, but I think that she might be afraid of me and rather irked that I am at the periphery of her world. As I left Fran's, I thought of going on down to Len's shop for a quick kiss - we haven't been alone since apc - but I only had five minutes, and it felt like ... I dunno, like I'd be torturing myself.

I have got used to missing Mike. He was gone for over a year, and then home for six months, and then gone again. It's been almost another year.

But it's different. It's like I just have to reach out with my thoughts and touch him. I think that it's been healthy for us to realize that we don't really need each other, but that we love each other passionately; that we don't need to be physically close to draw from that deep well of care, concern, support and love. We miss each other terribly and we love being together, but we know that this separation is necessary and that there will be a payoff that will not only sustain our livelihood, but will fulfill one of Mike's life-long dreams.

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[limnrix.livejournal.com]

Feelings suck, but they're all we've got.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

(sending comforting thoughts and zen-hugs-if-desired)