(no subject)
Apr. 17th, 2007 08:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ljgeoffMy friend Fran owns a coffee shop in Ishpeming. I went over there after supper yesterday. Really, I should have gone for a walk; it was beautiful out. But I wanted to be around people and I wanted to see what Fran thought about the story I dropped off.
I'd told Fran that I was going to stay away for a while because I thought Len needed time and space away from me, and Fran's is one of Len's favorite hang-outs. But Len assured me that he doesn't need space, that he likes to see me, and besides, he's been at Tammy's or the shop more than Fran's this last month.
I was sitting in Fran's Comfy Chair when Len and Ruby and Lucas came by around 7p. I had been feeling kinda fragile the last couple of days. When I saw Len, I just wanted to weep. He looked at me, "Sweetie, are you alright?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine." I had my computer in my lap, so I looked down at it and typed something. "We can't stay. Tammy invited us to dinner and we're late." He bent down and kissed me and I must have reared back. He looked at me, perplexed. "Ok, now you have me worried. What's wrong?"
I didn't know what to say. If I started talking I would have started crying. I just touched his cheek with my palm and stuttered something about everything being fine. "Well," he looked at me dubiously. We talked some more about our schedules and getting together for a movie at his place on Wednesday.
After he left I packed up my stuff and got in the van. Halfway home the storm hit and I wept, those loud wracking sobs that so upset other people. I thought for a moment who I might go to see to talk this through and there really wasn't anyone, and that made me weep more. As I drove down my street, I pulled myself together. Sam bounced out of the house to see if I'd brought anything for him to eat, took one look at me and bounced back into the house. I went up to my room and laid down and just slept for two hours - got up and put the kids to bed and did dishes and went back to sleep.
I feel better this morning. When the alarm went off, I was dreaming. I was sitting in a pile of pillows on the floor, talking to my good friend Al Calavicci, who is a fictional character (Quantum Leap), and telling him all about it and thanking him for listening to me and being such a good friend. "I can always count on you, Al," I said, and I was so grateful.
We are such resilient creatures.
I'd told Fran that I was going to stay away for a while because I thought Len needed time and space away from me, and Fran's is one of Len's favorite hang-outs. But Len assured me that he doesn't need space, that he likes to see me, and besides, he's been at Tammy's or the shop more than Fran's this last month.
I was sitting in Fran's Comfy Chair when Len and Ruby and Lucas came by around 7p. I had been feeling kinda fragile the last couple of days. When I saw Len, I just wanted to weep. He looked at me, "Sweetie, are you alright?"
"Yes, yes, I'm fine." I had my computer in my lap, so I looked down at it and typed something. "We can't stay. Tammy invited us to dinner and we're late." He bent down and kissed me and I must have reared back. He looked at me, perplexed. "Ok, now you have me worried. What's wrong?"
I didn't know what to say. If I started talking I would have started crying. I just touched his cheek with my palm and stuttered something about everything being fine. "Well," he looked at me dubiously. We talked some more about our schedules and getting together for a movie at his place on Wednesday.
After he left I packed up my stuff and got in the van. Halfway home the storm hit and I wept, those loud wracking sobs that so upset other people. I thought for a moment who I might go to see to talk this through and there really wasn't anyone, and that made me weep more. As I drove down my street, I pulled myself together. Sam bounced out of the house to see if I'd brought anything for him to eat, took one look at me and bounced back into the house. I went up to my room and laid down and just slept for two hours - got up and put the kids to bed and did dishes and went back to sleep.
I feel better this morning. When the alarm went off, I was dreaming. I was sitting in a pile of pillows on the floor, talking to my good friend Al Calavicci, who is a fictional character (Quantum Leap), and telling him all about it and thanking him for listening to me and being such a good friend. "I can always count on you, Al," I said, and I was so grateful.
We are such resilient creatures.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-17 03:09 pm (UTC)I knew something was wrong the second I stepped foot into the room.
I cant remember anything that has hurt as much as seeing you reel away like that, or seeing you starting to cry and trying so hard to hide it.
I love you sweetie.
Nothing will change that, and nothing will.
I am still here, and I am still me, and I still love you.
Talk to you soon.
xoxoxo
-Len
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-18 02:30 pm (UTC)