hmm

[ljgeoff]

There is a job in the place where I want to live that I'm qualified for, right now. It's an aide position, which is what I'm doing right now. It pays about 240% more per hour than I'm getting now, and it's full time. It pays a little more than half of what the job I want pays.

I could relocate in the spring of 2009. If I got the job. If I wanted to. I could finish my BS in psych. I could go to nursing school in Canada, if I wanted to go to nursing school.

Pros: A longer lead time to get set up.

Cons: Leaving the kids. Leaving Mike. And Mike keeps saying what if you're wrong?

But I keep thinking, what if I'm right?



I'd still need to support the house here until 2012 or 2014; the almost-adults would still be living here. But at a take-home pay of ... hmm. I dunno. It comes to about $4000/mo, plus a stipend for living in the NWT. As an USian, I'm not sure how the taxes works...

Anyway, since I make less than half of that now.

It's very expensive to live up in the NWT. But I live very simply. I'd have Luke and some dogs. I might have Mike. But if I did, he'd have his own income; I wouldn't have to worry about supporting him.

Maybe I want to go just because I feel stuck. Maybe I want to go because I am not steadfast. Why does the idea of three years here, to finish the plan, weigh on me?

I'm afraid I won't make it into nursing school.

So, well then. I shall keep this as my back-up plan. The last leg of my backup: Plan A, graduate from nursing school in 2011; Plan B, graduate with BS and LPN in 2010; Plan C, finish my BS long distance and relocate in 2009-2010.

I don't know why it makes me feel better to write that all out, but it does. But I also know that I am very good at talking myself in to things, sometimes crazy things. Yes, what if I'm wrong. Well. I can always come back. But what if I'm right?

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours
--I'm Yours, Jason Mraz

Comments

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. What does Mike mean when he says, "What if you're wrong?" Wrong about what?

[ljgeoff.livejournal.com]

Mostly, he means what if I'm wrong about the severity of the coming climate change. Almost everyone I know believes that it'll be bad, but not too bad.

I think that it's going to be incredibly, society busting bad. I think that Lovelock is right, and the shit is going to hit the fan sometime around 2025.

But, you know, I thought bird flu was gonna be big, too. So take my personal craziness with a grain of salt.

If I wrong, yea! I may come back to the States to retire. If I'm right, I'll be living in an area where my extended family has a high chance of survival.

Yes, I know this sounds crazy. It sounds crazy to me, too.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Doesn't sound crazy to me.