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Sep. 9th, 2008 01:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ljgeoffI'm sitting here at the coffee shop, trying to stay awake. And trying not to think about money. Bleh.
I've been working on an Alkyone story. It just feels... I dunno. Dry. I could cut 3/4 of it, and it would make no difference to the story. So. But I'll finish it before I make the cuts. Maybe that'll work. Or something. There's no ... nothing that tugs at a reader. Oi, I know what's wrong, but can't see how to fix it.
I'm impatient with everything today. It's one of those days where, if it weren't for the kids, I'd be out on the highway with my thumb out.
I honestly wonder sometimes how I would do at that, just me and the road. But what use is life, then? Just to experience? That takes me only so far; it would be the same as working a 9-to-5, coming home to the TV, getting up and doing it all over again. For what?
I'm getting all bent over a glitch. A money glitch. A money glitch that I caused because I dropped the ball. Again. I know that if I didn't live so close to the bone, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. If I wasn't feeding these extra kids, if I wasn't going to school, if I just worked a regular job. If I was reasonable. Or if I'd just filled out the damned paperwork on time.
Ok. A breath. Lisa's mantra: it's gonna be ok ... it's gonna be ok ... it's gonna be ok
I've been working on an Alkyone story. It just feels... I dunno. Dry. I could cut 3/4 of it, and it would make no difference to the story. So. But I'll finish it before I make the cuts. Maybe that'll work. Or something. There's no ... nothing that tugs at a reader. Oi, I know what's wrong, but can't see how to fix it.
I'm impatient with everything today. It's one of those days where, if it weren't for the kids, I'd be out on the highway with my thumb out.
I honestly wonder sometimes how I would do at that, just me and the road. But what use is life, then? Just to experience? That takes me only so far; it would be the same as working a 9-to-5, coming home to the TV, getting up and doing it all over again. For what?
I'm getting all bent over a glitch. A money glitch. A money glitch that I caused because I dropped the ball. Again. I know that if I didn't live so close to the bone, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. If I wasn't feeding these extra kids, if I wasn't going to school, if I just worked a regular job. If I was reasonable. Or if I'd just filled out the damned paperwork on time.
Ok. A breath. Lisa's mantra: it's gonna be ok ... it's gonna be ok ... it's gonna be ok