(no subject)

[ljgeoff]

I had a Brent dream last night; haven't had one of those in a while. Brent was the first person I fell in love with. I dream about him when my brain is telling me I'm stupid.

(as an aside, I do wonder how he'd feel about that, not that I still dream of him after twenty five years, but that he's become my specific code for personal failure.)

Actually, Brent wasn't in the dream. Three of old high school friends were there, and telling me that I needed to go see him. This is bugging me. It feels worse that friends think I need to have Brent rubbed in my face more than my own super ego does.

Two nights ago, I dreamt that I was working with the Doctor, and I screwed something up and he was disappointed in me. Ack, I can still see the look on his face.

Alot of this is about the shop, and some of it is about my lack of success in ... oh, career, relationships and writing probably top the list.

I don't know if I'd call this depression. Usually, when I'm depressed, I feel very lethargic, but I don't feel lethargic now. Irritable, maybe. That feeling of day-before-payday-and-no-money-for-milk.

And I'm irritated about being attacked from the inside. It's bad enough that my conscious mind tells me that I'm an idiot; the attack dreams just feel all below the belt-ish.

I know that everybody goes through periods of this. So, flist, what do you do to make yourself feel better when you're brain is telling you that you're lame?

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

I laugh at myself.

Really: The sleeping brain is so simple-minded and transparent that the stories it tells and the messages it sends - even the troubling ones - crack me up, in a "Hellooooo, Ms. Obvious! Tell me something I don't know!" kind of way.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

The only thing that always works for me is hanging out with little kids, because if they like me, it's not because I'm successful or not. Today I feel like a big fat nothing, and I'm having trouble getting out of the house, but eventually, when I make it to my destination, two little girls are going to squeal with delight and show me their toys.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

what do you do to make yourself feel better when you're brain is telling you that you're lame?

The List

[idolstar.livejournal.com]

I find it's really hard to get out of that funk when some bad things are happening and your brain starts saying that you're lame. I try to inventory all the good things that have happened, but it's tough. It's also helpful (at least for me) to get out and do something I enjoy. I was having a horribly crappy day several weeks ago and went into one of my large lecture classes to deliver what I thought would be a pretty bad lecture (due to my mood). I got into it and felt a lot better after the lecture.

[towersofgrey.livejournal.com]

Two things that help me out:

1) Go to a best friend (bosom buddy as Anne of Green Gables would call them) and give them a gigantic hug. It doesn't make it all go away, but I find I can breathe again

2) Go out and do something wonderful for someone else. I basically just start talking to myself along the lines of, "well, I might suck so bad that even shoelaces won't stay tied (sad truth, shoelaces and I have never been friends) but I can make them brownies, and I know they have had a horrible day." And somehow seeing the joy on the face of a friend at the unexpected goodie, makes the "you suck" fade a bit.

I hope this goes away soon.