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dinner with Ed
Jul. 11th, 2018 05:52 amThere's a guy that I know in the nursing home who I have dinner with about once a week, since about eight weeks ago. He shouldn't be in the nursing home and he's asked me to help him get out. He's in his mid-50s, a stable schizophrenic recovering alcoholic who had a stroke two years ago and has left side paralysis.*
That sounds like a lot of stuff, but really he's able to do most of the stuff he needs to do to live on his own. He needs help getting up and dressed in the morning, he needs help with making meals, shopping, and getting up in the morning and getting ready for bed at night. But he gets around fine with his walker, interacts well with others, and is able and willing to ask for help when he gets overwhelmed.
So I'm going to help him find an apartment (he wants a cat! maybe two!) and get him set up with the Mi Choice Waiver, a program that pays for someone who lives in a nursing home the services that they'd need for living in their own home.
He has $1400 set aside for his first month's rent and security deposit. He also needs a good bed, all his furnishings and all the gear one needs to live in an apartment -- everything from dishes and pots and pans, to a kitchen dustbin and closet hangers.
We were eating dinner at a little family run place last night and I was showing him different apartment complexes on my phone and I said, "You're sure that you want me to take this on, because you know, I will kinda take over."
His eyebrows went up and then down, and he nodded. "You warned me of that when we first started having these dinners that you take over. I need someone like that in my life. It also interests me about how you answered me when I asked you what you got out of our relationship. I find the way your brain works very interesting."
What I had said when he asked me what I got out of spending time with a disabled guy without a life was, "Well, you're an interesting guy with interesting thoughts. And seeing someone who has a problem and who wants help with solving the problem -- working on that makes me feel good about the world and about my life in the world. And it makes me feel good to be one of the people solving problems. And feeling good is wonderful."
We figured that Ed will need about two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening of home health care for personal care and medication assistance, and another two hours a day of chore services care for help with shopping, meal prep, and keeping the apartment neat. All of these services can be provided by Medicare/Medicaid.
If anyone would like to donate cash for furnishings and supplies, that would be cool. He hasn't decided if he wants a hospital-type bed -- it's helpful with the hemiparesis and he might be able to get one through Medicaid. For furnishings, he said he'd be happy with dresser, bedside table, easy chair, and side table to start. Maybe a dinette later and another easy chair or small sofa for guests.
*Ed has given permission to share his first name and his medical issues with people, to help me brainstorm and such.
That sounds like a lot of stuff, but really he's able to do most of the stuff he needs to do to live on his own. He needs help getting up and dressed in the morning, he needs help with making meals, shopping, and getting up in the morning and getting ready for bed at night. But he gets around fine with his walker, interacts well with others, and is able and willing to ask for help when he gets overwhelmed.
So I'm going to help him find an apartment (he wants a cat! maybe two!) and get him set up with the Mi Choice Waiver, a program that pays for someone who lives in a nursing home the services that they'd need for living in their own home.
He has $1400 set aside for his first month's rent and security deposit. He also needs a good bed, all his furnishings and all the gear one needs to live in an apartment -- everything from dishes and pots and pans, to a kitchen dustbin and closet hangers.
We were eating dinner at a little family run place last night and I was showing him different apartment complexes on my phone and I said, "You're sure that you want me to take this on, because you know, I will kinda take over."
His eyebrows went up and then down, and he nodded. "You warned me of that when we first started having these dinners that you take over. I need someone like that in my life. It also interests me about how you answered me when I asked you what you got out of our relationship. I find the way your brain works very interesting."
What I had said when he asked me what I got out of spending time with a disabled guy without a life was, "Well, you're an interesting guy with interesting thoughts. And seeing someone who has a problem and who wants help with solving the problem -- working on that makes me feel good about the world and about my life in the world. And it makes me feel good to be one of the people solving problems. And feeling good is wonderful."
We figured that Ed will need about two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening of home health care for personal care and medication assistance, and another two hours a day of chore services care for help with shopping, meal prep, and keeping the apartment neat. All of these services can be provided by Medicare/Medicaid.
If anyone would like to donate cash for furnishings and supplies, that would be cool. He hasn't decided if he wants a hospital-type bed -- it's helpful with the hemiparesis and he might be able to get one through Medicaid. For furnishings, he said he'd be happy with dresser, bedside table, easy chair, and side table to start. Maybe a dinette later and another easy chair or small sofa for guests.
*Ed has given permission to share his first name and his medical issues with people, to help me brainstorm and such.
