ljgeoff | meme

taken from

hobbitbabe

The rules: Write yourself a dating ad.

1) It has to make you sound as unappealing as possible
2) It has to be honest - you can't lie at all
3) It can't sound as though you're deliberately making yourself sound unappealing.

My face is strong rather than pretty. I am not built for speed. My ancestors were Polish peasants, French Canadian settlers, Scots, and Cree Indians; I am built to survive hard work, childbirth and moderate famine. I don’t have monogamous relationships. I laugh really loud. I am forty-six. There is silver in my hair. My hair is what most people first notice about me and it is impossible- it’s very thick and it attacks.

I’m not particularly interested in keeping a neat, tidy living environment. I have a houseful of teenagers, mine and other people’s, and I like it that way. I don’t put a very high value on things. This means your things, too. I don’t like locking things. I will drink out of your drink. I often don’t know what looks good on me, and what doesn’t.

I am extremely competent, but I sometimes take on too much and fumble the ball. I’m ruled by my senses. If you tell me that you don’t mind, I will assume that you don’t mind. I don’t care much for conventions or what other people think about me, so there’s a good chance that I will embarrass you.

I like to talk before sex, and after sex, and, well, I guess during sex, too. When I fall in love, I very rarely fall out again. Most likely, I will interrupt you while you are talking. I will want to get into your head, and when I am there I will be like a cat – purring, stretching out, nuzzling and making myself at home, and sometimes completely ignoring you. I will ask for your opinion but will rarely follow your advice. I’m a bit of a nut.