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more noodling about love
Oct. 26th, 2014 07:54 amTrentyn woke me up this morning by kicking me in the head. I don't know when he climbed in with us. I got up, went to the bathroom and then laid down on his bed, it being vacant and all.
I wasn't really thinking about anything, but I had this sudden thought about love, what I call "being in love." A lot of my thoughts are visual.
I imagined this feeling as a rope of light that connected me with another person. Thinking about it, I could see that feelings might rise or fall -- desire, anger, compassion, interest, understanding, playfulness, disappointment, eagerness, disillusionment, security -- all of these feelings might come and go, but the "rope" would stay constant, never thinning (or growing, for that matter), just there.
I was trying to decipher the rope, trying to figure out what it was made up of and all I can come up with is commitment, love, and desire. But the rope itself doesn't seem to be made of those. It's more like -- those things have to be present for the rope to grow. I have felt those feeling move, tremble or rear, but the rope stays constant.
And I think time or the age of the rope is a definite factor. Mike and my rope is so old that it has vines growing in it; birds nests and spider webs and small children swinging in the loops.
I've been in love with four other people in my life. I let those ropes go, but if any of those four contacted me, said, "Hey, I need help with this," or just "Coffee?" -- I would be there. It's as if the rope leaves a shadow or a mark -- no, it's as if that wellhead of love, desire and commitment is still there, a deep spot in my heart breathing water and potential life.
I wasn't really thinking about anything, but I had this sudden thought about love, what I call "being in love." A lot of my thoughts are visual.
I imagined this feeling as a rope of light that connected me with another person. Thinking about it, I could see that feelings might rise or fall -- desire, anger, compassion, interest, understanding, playfulness, disappointment, eagerness, disillusionment, security -- all of these feelings might come and go, but the "rope" would stay constant, never thinning (or growing, for that matter), just there.
I was trying to decipher the rope, trying to figure out what it was made up of and all I can come up with is commitment, love, and desire. But the rope itself doesn't seem to be made of those. It's more like -- those things have to be present for the rope to grow. I have felt those feeling move, tremble or rear, but the rope stays constant.
And I think time or the age of the rope is a definite factor. Mike and my rope is so old that it has vines growing in it; birds nests and spider webs and small children swinging in the loops.
I've been in love with four other people in my life. I let those ropes go, but if any of those four contacted me, said, "Hey, I need help with this," or just "Coffee?" -- I would be there. It's as if the rope leaves a shadow or a mark -- no, it's as if that wellhead of love, desire and commitment is still there, a deep spot in my heart breathing water and potential life.