Upswing

Nov. 20th, 2003 09:05 am
ljgeoff: (Default)
[personal profile] ljgeoff
Well, after two days of feeling really crappy, I feel kinda normal today. I can't figure out what's making me feel so not-myself.

'Night before last, I dreamed that aliens stole my scream; a lively version of the Can't Scream dream. I'm thinking that the dream interprets as a knowledge of powerlessness.

The last two days have been my days off, and I haven't written a damn thing. Couldn't even look at it. I got a critique from the partial chapter that I did post, and ended up feeling slightly offended, which really isn't like me. Tuesday, I didn't have enough energy to go to SCA, which I really enjoy.

Poor kids and Mike have bourne the brunt of it - my being grumpy and impatient. I talked to Mike last night, apologized and all. I think about what this is doing to the boys, that they'll grow up and have relationships with unstable women.

So, anyways, I'm feeling better today. Maybe I'm on an upswing. I wouldn't mind a little patch of mania; I get so much done, and I'm actually happy.

The website is looking better, and I've got a couple quotes on stuff that'll need to be done. Can't get the damn 'floor plan' page to come up on AOL; what's up with that?
I'm trying to decide if I should advertize for partners on buying the building. I certainly don't need the whole thing. Well, unless I was to put the teen mom house and assisted living apartments in there. God, that's so much, though. I don't know if I could pull it off. And then there's getting the money for it. I've had zero success on my grant applications.

I have thought of contacting Clelia Terzaghi and offering the project to her. Don't know what she's doing since her program got cancelled. Geeze, if I'm thinking about this, I must be feeling better.
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